A glimpse at life in the NICU

Many might think that having a baby in the NICU for over 2 weeks would be difficult. But, when you don't know any better, it just seems normal. When Quinn first arrived in the NICU, he was in an open crib. He was unable to stay warm enough, though, and was placed in an isolette (basically an incubator). He had an IV and was receiving fluids through it. He had a monitor to make sure he was getting enough oxygen. He had a heart rate and breathing monitor as well. The nurse checked his blood pressure (with the cutest little blood pressure cuff) several times a day. Every three hours, his temperature was taken, diaper changed, and he was fed during his "care time." He was able to come out of the isolette only during care time.

After the first day, he was able to come off the oxygen monitor because he was breathing so well. After three days, he was able to shed his IV. He had a bit of trouble gaining weight at first, and he was close to having a tube inserted in his nose to feed him, but he quickly improved his eating ability, and we avoided the tube. He did so well after the first few days, we thought he might get to come home after a week in the NICU. However, he had two bouts of jaundice that first week which required phototherapy to treat.

While on the phototherapy, he was unable to be weaned from the isolette. Because he had to be stripped down to the diaper for phototherapy (in the isolette he wore regular clothes and was swaddled in a blanket) he had a temperature probe on him, and the isolette would automatically adjust to his temperature. So, if he was too warm, the isolette would automatically decrease in temperature, and if he was too cold, the isolette would increase in temperature.

When not on phototherapy, the isolette was set at a specific temperature. When Quinn's temperature was taken every three hours, if it was greater than 98.5 degrees Farenheit, he was able to decrease the temperature on the isolette by 0.3 to 0.5 degrees Celsius. The goal was to get down to 27 degrees on the isolette (81 degrees F) in order for him to come out to an open crib. After each bout of phototherapy, it was back to square one for the temperature weaning process.

The nurses encouraged hubby and I to participate in Quinn's care. At first, this was a bit of a daunting task, because he seemed so small and fragile, and it was difficult to care for him through the portals of the isolette. But with practice, we became comfortable. I generally arrived at the hospital between 8 and 9, and stayed until 10 or 11 at night. I would pump breastmilk for Quinn to have while I was away at night. His care time took anywhere between an hour to an hour and a half, and then I would either rest or go to the cafeteria to eat (food was not allowed in the NICU). Hubby went back to work so that he could be home when Quinn came home, and he would come visit us after work. I cherished those visits, and visits from friends and other family, as being in the hospital all day was rather lonely.

The NICU was behind a locked door, accessible by ringing a doorbell. Quinn also wore a "Hugs tag," which would have sounded all kinds of alarms if we-or anyone else--had tried to smuggle him out of the NICU. We had to sign in and wear a visitor's tag, then "scrub up" by first washing our hands, then applying hand sanitizer prior to entering the NICU. Each day between 1 and 2:30 AM and PM, they had "developmental time," where they dimmed the lights, and asked everyone to speak in soft voices so the babies could have a quiet time in order to help them grow. We did transfer to the step down unit after about a week, which was much the same procedure, except we didn't have to sign in and out.

The hardest day was Thanksgiving, because I left the hospital during the day to have a wonderful dinner prepared by my awesome brother. Eating this delicious meal was of course not the hard part--it was leaving Quinn at the hospital while the rest of our family was together. I know Quinn didn't know better, but I felt bad that he was all alone.

Everyone at the hospital was so kind and compassionate: from the nurses, to the custodians, to those who delivered meals to patients. It was so helpful to have that support during a stressful and lonely time.

Quinn finally came home after 15 days in the NICU. It is so good to have him home!

Phototherapy

The NICU team working on him right after birth

All his tubes and wires

In the isolette

One month check up

Quinn went to the doctor on Monday for his one month appointment. He weighed 5 lbs, 12.5 oz, and was 18.5" long. He gained over 1 lb in two weeks! The doctor was also pleased that he is looking less jaundiced.

Grandma and Grandpa have come to visit!

Our Story Part 2

My husband likes to say, "Tuesday morning was just a regular morning. Then our lives suddenly changed." He was referring to Tuesday, November 15, 2011. I was just shy of 33 weeks pregnant. I had been having what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions for over a week, so I decided to go to the doctor (at the urging of my coworkers) to get checked out, even though the contractions were not regular or painful. In fact, I had mentioned the contractions at my regular appointment the week before, and the midwife said that as long as the contractions were not coming at regular intervals, it was fine.

My appointment on November 15 was at 2:45 PM, so after working in the morning, I cancelled an afternoon meeting and went to see the doctor. I was half expecting the doctor would put me on bed rest, and tried to mentally prepare for that possibility. But how do you mentally prepare for being told, "I don't know what to make of this, but you're 7 cm dilated. We need to send you to labor and delivery." So off I went by wheelchair, flanked by 3 nurses from the doctor's office, to the hospital across the street.

I called my husband to meet me at the hospital, neither of us really knowing yet that the baby was coming soon. I thought maybe I could just stay 7 cm dilated for a long while, but they later told me otherwise. On my wheelchair ride over to the hospital, I tried to figure out how to send text messages from my husband's phone, which I was using since my dying cat had lost her bladder on my phone just a few days before. This proved to be a difficult task, but I did manage to get the word out to some friends and family to inform them what was happening.

I arrived at the hospital by 3:15, and the nurses were in awe that I was 7cm dilated and still smiling. Their goal was to try to keep me pregnant as long as possible, particularly to get 2 injections of steroids (12 hours apart) on board to help Quinn's lungs mature. They wanted the second injection to be in me for at least 12 hours as well, so we hoped that I could stay pregnant for at least 24 hours.

The other issue was that the hospital's NICU was full, and there was a possibility that Quinn would have to be transported to another hospital after he was born, while I had to stay put. They thought I was too far along to transport while pregnant, but they entertained the idea until Quinn's heart rate dropped momentarily. That was the end of that plan.

I started having a little bit of pain with the contractions a few hours after I got to the hospital. They gave me magnesium sulfate to help slow/decrease the contractions. The nurses and the doctor said that this medication would make me feel absolutely awful, but it didn't. I felt a little hot and swimmy-headed. They wouldn't let me get up to go to the bathroom, so I had to use a bedpan. They also wouldn't let me eat while on the medication.

The next day, they did allow me to eat since I was doing so well on the medication, but they still didn't want me to get up for fear that this would cause my labor to progress more quickly. That afternoon, the doctor checked my progress, and I was 8-9 cm dilated. The doctor stopped the magnesium sulfate because it can make the baby sleepy, and a sleepy premature baby is not a good thing. They wanted the medicine out of my system by the time I delivered.

I thought that stopping the magnesium would cause my contractions to become worse, but they really weren't too bad. Some were worse than others, but I was able to breathe through them without too much discomfort.

I had a scary moment that night, when I could no longer hear Quinn's heartbeat on the monitor. I called the nurse, and she was able to readjust the monitor so we could hear him again. But the emotions and fatigue (I only had an hour of sleep each night, during which I managed to pull out my IV) had already caught up to me, and I started crying hysterically. My nurse was very good and knew how to handle me.

A little later, I had a vision that Jesus was holding Quinn and blowing into his lungs to help them mature. It was the reassurance I needed, and I knew Quinn would be OK. They also told us they had a spot for him in the NICU and would hold it for him until he was born (though apparently they don't usually do this). God was working in so many ways.

At 5AM on November 17, the doctor decided to break my water since I had progressed to 10cm and they had a bed available in the NICU. I opted for no pain control, since I was able to tolerate the contractions. Around 5:45, I felt ready to push, but the doctor was delivering another baby, so I had to wait.

Once the doctor was on her way, I was able to start pushing. This was the most difficult and painful 22 minutes of my life. I had asked to have a mirror so I could see him coming out, but I was in such agony that I kept my eyes closed the whole time and forgot all about the mirror. At one point, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to continue. Then the nurse said, "Come on, this is your last push!" I replied, "You're just saying that!" But she was right, and Quinn shot out like a cannon. She even had to tell me to look down to see my child. I was so relieved it was over, I forgot to open my eyes!

So, at 6:21 AM on November 17, 2011, our son was born, weighing 4 lbs 7 oz and measuring 17" long.

The NICU team worked on Quinn. His heart rate was low, and he needed help to start breathing. But after a moment, I got a thumbs up from Hubby, and I knew Quinn was OK. They had told me beforehand that I wouldn't get to hold Quinn, that he would be whisked away to the NICU right after he was born. But he was stable enough for me to get to hold him for a moment before he left.

He was placed in an isolette (an incubator) because he was unable to regulate his temperature. He also required two bouts of phototherapy due to jaundice. He never needed oxygen, which I attribute to Jesus helping to form his lungs before he was born. He was in the NICU for 15 days before he was stable enough to come home. We are so grateful to have him home and are enjoying him tremendously. We are thankful to God for blessing us with Quinn and caring for us and our little miracle.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

Related Posts:
Our Story Part One
Life in the NICU

Early arrival

As most of you know, Quinn arrived on November 17 at 6:21 am, 7 weeks premature. He weighed 4 lbs, 7 oz and was 17" long. He is currently in the NICU, doing great! He needs to be able to self-regulate his temperature before he comes home. I cannot access the blog at the hospital, but someday I will post all the details. Please pray that our son can come home soon!

32-week bump

Time is going by very quickly, and there is still so much to do! I have been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, so I have been trying to take it easy, which means things are not getting done as they should be. We still need to finish clearing out the second bedroom, and going through and getting rid of things to make room for the little one. Then there's the wonderfully mountainous pile of gifts from the baby shower...

I am going to the doctor tomorrow just to make sure that all of these contractions aren't causing things to happen prematurely! I'll keep you posted.

Passed!

I took the 3 hour glucose test on Friday. The test wasn't so bad. The glucola I had to drink was twice as sweet as the one I drank for the first test, but it still didn't taste as horrible as Pedialyte. I got a lot of reading done (about how to have an "easy labor") while I waited, so it was actually much more relaxing than going to work. I found out today that I passed! Praise the Lord! I celebrated with a Peppermint Chocolate Chip shake from Chik-fil-a. Don't worry, I had a salad for dinner. :)

This past Saturday was my baby shower. What a wonderful day! It was filled with family, friends, food, and fun! I am indebted to my awesome party-planners. While it was a great day, I was exhausted afterwards. It was great to have much of Sunday to lay on the couch, nap, and take a bath (thanks to the party favors: a bag filled with hot cocoa, chocolate, a bath fizzy, and a candle. I made use of all during my bath. Aaaahhhh...it was lovely).

Some photos to enjoy:

Failed

I went for a follow up appointment tonight, and the midwife that I saw told me I failed my glucose tolerance test by 1 point. She said the doctor was leaving it up to me whether or not I wanted to go ahead and do the 3 hour test to see if I have gestational diabetes. She went on to say that if I did have diabetes and it went unchecked, it could affect the baby's heart. So, in a "good Mommy" move, I told her I wanted to do the test. In a subsequent "bad Mommy" move, I went home and had a piece of pie.

Apparently, Quinn already has his head down. Of course he can still flip around plenty in there, but it sounds good to me that he's in the right position. I'm just glad I don't have to stand on my head for 10 weeks.

Quinn has also started having hiccups. I felt it for the first time late last week. He's had them 3 times since then, and they last about 10-15 minutes. Feeling him kick, move, and hiccup are incredible blessings that I feel privileged to experience. I know that there are many more blessings to come!

Braxton Hicks

I think I have begun to have Braxton Hicks contractions. My doctor asked me last month if I'd been having them. I learned that you begin having them 6 weeks into your pregnancy, but you don't usually notice them until later (if at all). I noticed quite by accident that I was having one (just happened to be feeling my belly at the time) and now I am a little more aware of having them. I've felt maybe one or two a day for the past few days. I feel a very slight uncomfortable feeling in my lower abdomen, and my uterus feels as hard as a rock. So I'm guessing that's the Braxton Hicks.

Sometimes I can feel Quinn when I put my hands on my belly. I can't distinguish body parts yet, but I do feel some hard lumps poking out at times. Last weekend, I was sitting with my hands over my belly, and I felt something move across my hand. And of course, he often lets me know he's in there with some swift kicks that make my whole belly visibly shake. The doctor said his movements will become less frequent as he loses space to move around in. This made me sad, because I thought I would just feel his movements more as he got bigger. I love feeling him move around in there!

I had my glucose tolerance test on Friday. The glucola wasn't too bad (it tasted a lot better than Pedialyte!) and I haven't heard anything from my doctor, so I'm thinking no news is good news. My next doctor's appointment is only a week away. I'll have to get used to going more frequently. Time is flying by so quickly. I can't believe he'll be here in 2 1/2 months!

Getting bigger...

28 weeks

Here's the first picture I tried to take...of course the cat walked right in front of the camera.

Graduation Day!

Today we visited the specialist. We don't have to return to him anymore, because everything looks great! Quinn weighs 2 lbs, 1 oz, and he is right on track for a birth weight of 7.5 lbs on his due date. Of course the doctor added his disclaimer that a lot can and probably will change between now and then regarding his birth weight and date. Here are some pictures of our cutie:

That's the placenta to the right of his face, and she couldn't get his whole head in the shot because she was coming at him from the side.

Next up: The glucose tolerance test. That takes place at the end of next week. After that visit, I'll need to see my OB every 2 weeks instead of every 4. During the month of December I'll have to go every week. It's hard to believe we'll get to meet Quinn in only about 3 months!

Less than 100 days to go!

My pregnancy ticker tells me that I have less than 100 days until Quinn's due date. Sometimes it seems I've been pregnant forever, but sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that my dear friend brought me flowers and we shared tears of joy over finding out I was pregnant. I have been feeling great, though I did have some low back pain last week and realized I needed to stop jogging. Now I'm just walking for exercise, and it's been feeling fine since then. I bought myself a maternity swimsuit this weekend and plan to use the pool at the gym across the street to get some exercise, which I think will feel great when I get even bigger in the next few months. Quinn's kicks are getting harder and more frequent, and he even woke me up for the first time two nights ago. Next up: a visit to the specialist on Monday. Stay tuned for more pics of the little one!

Manners

I think I need to give our little boy a lesson in manners. He kicked the doctor 3 times yesterday! It seems he does not like the doppler. I have posted before about how the doctor will put the doppler on my belly to find his heartbeat. I'll hear it for a minute, then he'll move away and the heart rate fades. The doc will put it in a new spot, get the heartbeat again, only to have him move away again. This has happened at every appointment I've had so far. Yesterday, he did it again. When the doctor kept pursuing, Quinn gave a swift kick and moved away. She went after him again, and he kicked harder 2 more times. The doctor said, "OK, OK! I'll stop bothering you!" Everything looks great with the pregnancy. Next month I'll have my glucose tolerance test, and then I'll have to start going to the doctor every two weeks instead of every month. The months are already flying by...hope I can get my act together so the kid has a place to sleep by the time he comes!

Baby "Hill"

So we've gone from "bump" to "mound" to "hill." I guess next up is mountain?? I think I may be in trouble...

24 weeks

Babymoon

Even before Quinn was a reality, I told my husband that this year, I wanted to take a week-long vacation, just the two of us. Since our honeymoon 4 years ago, we have not done that. We have done a lot of traveling, but it's always been with others or to visit others. We have enjoyed all of our travels, but with Quinn on the way, I thought it was even more important to have a "babymoon" before he arrives. Hurricane Irene threatened to put a damper on our plans, but she only cost us a day in the hotel (everything in Boston was closed on Sunday, including the "T," their subway system). We had a wonderful time in Boston, Newport, and Cape Cod. Our favorite part of the trip was in Cape Cod, where we stayed at a wonderful B&B, The Acworth Inn, biked about 20 miles to/from the beach on the Cape Cod Rail Trail, and swam in the ocean. I got knocked over by a wave and decided that was enough for me and Quinn, but Hubby had a great time swimming with the seals! I've seen dolphins at the beach before, but never seals. We also visited the Heritage Museum and Gardens, and played 36 holes of putt putt all in one day! We were tired, but happy.

We saw many sights in Boston, and toured three mansions in Newport. It was a wonderful vacation. You can browse our pics on facebook.

If you look closely, you can see two seal heads in the center of the picture, to the left of Hubby's head.

Firsts

I experienced a lot of "firsts" this week, after eclipsing the halfway mark. I thought I'd record them here so that I can remember them.
1. First person to ask me if I'm pregnant, and, less than a week later, first person to ask when my due date is (without politely asking if I'm pregnant). I think I have Ben & Jerry to thank for this.
2. First time daddy got to feel his son kick.
3. First earthquake (can't wait to tell Quinn about that one).
4. First time reading to Quinn.
5. First time wearing real maternity clothes.
I know that there will be many more "firsts" to come, particularly after he is born. I am looking forward to them all!

Check out my previous post and vote in the poll!

Baby Poll!



When will Quinn arrive?

• Before January 4
• On January 4 (due date)
• On January 5, since his name is "Quinn"
• After January 5

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Halfway!

Today marks the "halfway" point of my pregnancy.  Of course, I could have been halfway days ago--who knows when this sweet little boy will be making his appearance?  I am getting more and more excited to meet him, and I think he is excited as well--he keeps rolling around and poking me!  It is a very strange feeling to have a living being inside of you.

The baby "bump" has turned into a baby "mound," and here is the proof.

The Mighty Quinn

We visited the specialist again today, and found out that we will be having a boy!  He will be named after his father, but to avoid confusion (or perhaps create some?), we will call him Quinn, since he will be the "fifth."  The boy was active again today, and the ultrasound tech had to follow him around in there as he kept moving.  Seems like he has quite a personality already.  They gave us a ton of ultrasound pictures, so here are a few of my favorites.

First, the "acrobat," with his legs over his head so far that his feet are behind his head:

Here he looks like he's laughing:

And finally, the scary 3D pic that makes him look like an exhibit from "Body Worlds."

We can't wait to meet you, Quinn!

Chill, Baby!

If activity in the womb is any indication of what the baby will be like out of the womb, then we will NOT have a "chill" baby.  If you recall my post about the visit to the specialist, the baby was incredibly active on ultrasound then.  I had an OB appointment today, and they did another doppler to hear the heartbeat.  I heard the heartbeat for a second or two, then it diminished.  No, the batteries didn't die again, the baby moved.  The nurse practitioner had to follow the baby around my stomach to keep with the heartbeat!  I think her words were, "the baby's going crazy in there!"  What are we in for???

In two weeks we will have another ultrasound with the specialist to make sure the baby has all of his/her fingers and toes.  We'll also find out the sex of the baby, provided that baby cooperates!  I probably will not get a chance to post again until then, so here's to another two week wait...cheers!

Baby Bump

 

Here's the 16 week bump!  This is my first-ever maternity dress, compliments of my sister-in-law.  It will grow with me, so you'll probably see it in future posts, since it shows off the bump nicely!

Faith, hope, and sickness

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for, and assurance about what we do not see."  Sometimes it is difficult not to wonder if your unborn child is OK when you can't see or feel him or her.  I'm sure other pregnant moms-to-be have felt this way.  On Wednesday, I went for a checkup at the OB.  He used a Doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat.  After finding it, and getting to hear that wonderful sound for about 2 seconds, the battery died.  The doctor shook the machine around a bit--which of course did not help revive the battery--and then said, "Oh well, we know it's in there!" 

Yes, we know "it's in there," but how is our child DOING in there?  I experienced my first sickness during pregnancy this weekend.  Ironically enough, I was just thinking the other day that I felt blessed to not have had any illnesses so far, as I know that pregnant women have decreased immune systems.  That changed on Friday.  It started at work with a stomach ache, then frequent trips to the bathroom.  Once I returned home from work, the vomiting and fever began.  It was not a fun night.  I was worried about being dehydrated, about how that could affect the baby.  I drank as much as I could (which was not much that first night), and prayed for the health of our baby.  I still felt bad yesterday, but was able to drink plenty of fluids and even eat some soup.  Today I am feeling much better and eating some solids.

Just as it takes faith to believe in a God that we cannot physically see, it takes faith to believe that God is in control of this baby that we can't physically see.  He is taking care of our child, just like He took care of all the miraculous details that went into conceiving him or her.  Since I am a "planner" and like to be in control of things, it is not always easy for me to have faith, and I have a tendency to worry.  But God is growing me, and bringing me into a sweet place of trusting Him and relying on Him rather than on myself.  And that feels great!

Sharing the news

It has been so much fun telling people we are expecting!  Finally, after 2 months of keeping the secret, we're sharing the good news of what God has done.  One of my favorites was telling my aunt. I call her "Ciocia," which is Polish for aunt.  I call my grandmother "Babci," which is a derivative of the Polish word for grandmother.  I called my aunt and told her I had a question for her.  I asked, "I know that prababci is 'great-grandmother' in Polish, but does 'praciocia' mean 'great-aunt?'"  Without suspecting our news based on the question, she answered, "No, it's something else...let me see...oh, I can't remember what it is."  I told her she'd better find out because she was going to be one (it's ciotki, by the way).  She was so excited! 

We went to tell my brother and sister-in-law in person.  We told them we wanted to come over to play the Wii with them.  While my bro was showering after work, my husband got on their Wii and created a Mii called "Baby."  When it came time to play, my husband chose that Mii as his character.  My brother said, "Did you make that the last time you were here?"  He said no, he had made it today.  I chimed in and said, "But you'll have to wait until next year to meet the real thing." 

When I called my parents, Dad answered the phone, and I told him I had a baking question (he is a baker, so this is a normal thing for me to do), but that I thought Mom might know the answer too, so could he put her on the phone as well?  I asked them, "What kind of bun bakes in the oven, but can't be eaten?"  I found this on the internet, so I can't take credit for the cheesy-ness, but it worked in this situation.  There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, then Dad started laughing a knowing laugh.  "The same kind your cousin is having," he said.  I replied, "Well, we're going to have one, too!" 

My husband's parents were driving when we called them, so we chatted for awhile until they got home so that his Mom wouldn't drive off the road!  We told them we wouldn't be able to come for the Christmas gathering this year, because we might be at the hospital.  His Mom got it right away, saying, "For something that I'll be really happy about?" 

We told my husband's sister by asking our 2 year old nephew if he wanted a cousin.  I think he said yes, but I couldn't tell with all the whooping and hollering going on.

Thank you all for sharing in our joy!

Visit to the specialist

Today we saw a maternal fetal medicine specialist.  The reproductive endocrinologist sent me to the specialist, I guess because of my "advanced age."  We decided we didn't want to do any bloodwork to determine our chance of having a baby with a genetic abnormality.  There's no way we would terminate the pregnancy, and why would we want to worry for 6 months about a "chance" of something going wrong?  So, they just did an ultrasound, which was AMAZING.  It was so neat to see our baby moving, kicking, and even bucking-- the baby was really active in there!  It was strange to see so much movement, yet not feel any of it.  I don't know if I've mentally made the connection that the cute little thing on the screen is actually inside me!  We got to hear the heart beat for the first time today as well.  The doctor was going to try to make an early guess as to whether it is a boy or a girl, but the baby had its legs crossed!  Here are a few of the pics from today's appointment.

Our ultrasounds

Here are a few pics of our little one.  First, at 6 weeks, 6 days:

At 8 weeks, 6 days:

And at 10 weeks:

It's pretty amazing what a difference a week makes!  We will be having another ultrasound on Monday when we see the maternal fetal medicine specialist, so more pics to come...

Our Story

I have never been one to do things in a conventional way.  Not because I wanted to be unconventional, but just because that’s the way God orchestrated things in my life.  So when we tried and tried to have children in the conventional way, I wasn’t at all surprised when it didn’t work.  I was surprised, however, at the path God chose for this particular journey.  All of the unconventional journeys in my life (wanting to go to a Christian college before I became a Christian, moving to the middle of nowhere after grad school, getting married at age 32, etc.) have turned out to be such marvelously wonderful--though definitely not easy--journeys, that I would have it no other way.  God has taught me so much on these adventures, and our journey to have a child has been the most amazing to date.  I can’t help but share what God has done, but to spare you all of the nitty-gritty details, I have included only those most important in an effort to be brief.

We started trying to have children in September of 2009, ironically around the same time as the pain from my endometriosis became severe.  Batteries of tests showed a cyst on each ovary, and a poorly functioning gall bladder.  I had suspected for many years that I had endometriosis, but have never been officially diagnosed (surgery is the only way to do that).  However, I have all the symptoms, and my cysts have been termed “endometriomas,” meaning I have the worst stage of endometriosis (stage IV).  Because of my age (35 at the time) my gynecologist sent me for some tests and to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) in July of 2010.  We saw the RE in August, and both he and my gynecologist said that the best thing to help with my pain would be to get pregnant.  The RE thought we should go straight to in-vitro fertilization (IVF) because of the effect that endometriosis has on fertility (basically it can destroy sperm and prevent conception from ever taking place).  Usually the first fertility treatments include medications to improve your production of eggs, then if that doesn’t work, intra-uterine insemination (IUI), and if all else fails, “the big guns” of IVF. 

While my husband was open to the option, I didn’t really like the idea of IVF.  It seemed too contrived to me.  Too much like “playing God.”  If God wanted me to be pregnant, wouldn’t He help us to do so naturally?  So we looked into foster care, and that door closed very quickly.  Adoption seemed to me the best option, and we looked into that.  I considered surgery to remove the endometriosis.  I also tried a very restrictive diet to help with the endometriosis in hopes of decreasing my pain, and having a baby naturally.  Neither happened.  We prayed about and discussed all of our options over the next 6 months.

When I wound up in my doctor’s office once more after another painful episode that sent me home from work yet again in February of 2011, my doctor simplified months of agonizing over what to do by saying, “So you want to have a baby, and your gynecologist and RE both think that having a baby will decrease your pain, so what’s the problem?  Do the IVF.”  I needed someone to put it so simply.  There were several other indicators that week that helped to solidify in our minds that IVF was the road we were supposed to take, and once we finally made the decision to do it, I immediately felt at peace.

I did still have a lot of reservations about the process itself—how many eggs would we try to fertilize?  What if we had leftover embryos?  I didn’t really want to freeze them, because I had read that only 50% survive the thawing process.  Isn’t that like sending half of our “leftovers” to a certain grave?  How do we balance having enough (we don’t know how many eggs will actually fertilize, and how many embryos would make it to the point where they could be transferred back to my uterus) but not having too many?  There were many unknowns, but we felt we were headed in the right direction, so we started the process.

I had to learn to give myself injections twice a day, and these were sometimes painful.  My husband learned to give them to me as well, so that I could inject different places on my body (he injected the places I couldn’t reach, like the backs of my arms) so I wouldn’t be so sore in one area.  I had to change my work schedule to accommodate sometimes daily appointments to take blood and have ultrasounds.  I was a human pincushion.  We had to spend a lot of money on medications, but here the Lord blessed us as well, and we wound up having to pay much less than we anticipated for the whole process.

The idea was to stimulate multiple (ideally greater than 10) follicles on my ovaries.  These follicles contain eggs.  The eggs would then be “retrieved” while I was under anesthesia.  The eggs would be mixed with my husband’s sperm, and the resulting embryos would be monitored in a lab for three days.  The ones that made it would be transferred back to my uterus, and then we wait for two long weeks to see if I’m pregnant.

The problem was, I only had 2 follicles after being on the maximum (read: expensive) dosage of the injectable medications.  A third follicle made an appearance late in the game, but they didn’t feel this one would contain a mature egg because of its size.  As a result, my RE wanted to “convert” my cycle to IUI instead of IVF (IUI has less risk because there is no egg retrieval done).  However, my husband and I felt that we had come this far, we may as well go the whole way and stick with IVF.  Plus, if my RE had felt that IUI would work, then we would have done this in the first place.  My RE was open to us sticking with the IVF, so we pressed on. 

The egg retrieval consists of using a needle guided by ultrasound to aspirate the follicles in order to obtain the egg contained therein.  There was a risk at the egg retrieval because of my endometriomas.  If they accidentally nicked one of the cysts, I could wind up with a severe infection.  I took preventative antibiotics to help decrease this chance.  The doctor who did the retrieval said she did not know if she would be able to get to all the follicles because she would not be able to go through an endometrioma if it was in the way.

She was able to get to all of the follicles, but only one of them contained an egg.  The others were empty.  Astonishingly, I was not upset.  I was just happy there was one and not none.   We still had a chance!  The next day, we were told that the egg had fertilized—another hurdle overtaken.  The next day, we were told that the cells were dividing, though not as quickly as they had hoped.  They weren’t too concerned about this, and the transfer was scheduled for the next day.  I was fully prepared to get there and be told that the embryo had stopped growing, but instead, they said it had grown exactly as it should have, and it was given the highest grade an embryo can get (our child is already an overachiever).  We were able to watch the whole procedure, and we even got a picture of our 8-cell embryo.  Not too many people can say they have a picture of their child 3 days after conception!

Then came the two-week wait.  I was on bedrest for 24 hours, then light activity for 3 days.  I was not really anxious during that time, and in some ways, the two weeks went by quickly.  I asked the nurse to leave a message on our home phone about whether or not I was pregnant so that my husband and I could get the news together, and I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to answer my cell phone while at work.  It was amazing to get the news that I was pregnant!  My husband asked the RE what the odds were of getting pregnant with just one egg retrieved.  He said there isn't much data because it is so rare.

We feel so incredibly blessed by how God worked this situation out for us.  Sometimes I cry because it is so overwhelming that He loves me so much that He gives me the desires of my heart.  I was worried about “playing God” by choosing to try IVF.  But it turns out that I had to rely completely on Him during the whole IVF process.  I have learned so much and have drawn closer to God on this journey, and it was worth all the time and sacrifice that we had to put into it.  God rarely asks us to do things that are safe and easy, but He blesses us for our obedience to Him.